Joke Thread

RCB

 

I was in a restaurant last night, when a bowl of prawn cocktail hit me on the back of the head.

I turned round and this bloke said "thats just for starters mate"

 

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese guy are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shovelling." And to the Chinese man he says, "You're in charge of supplies." So the foreman goes away for a couple of hours and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched. He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" He replies "I no hava no broom, you saida to the Chinese guy that he wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere." The foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile." He replied, "Aye, ye did lad, bit ah couldnae git masel' a shuvl! Ye left thon wee Chinese mannie in chairge of supplies, bit ah couldnae fin' him onywhar." The foreman is really ****ed off now and storms off towards the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy. As he approaches the mound, the Chinese guy leaps out from behind the sand and yells "SUPPLIES!"

 

What's up, everyone! Thought I'd jump in here and share some laughs to brighten up your day. Strap in, 'cause here we go!

1. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
   
   
2. I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner — all it was doing was gathering dust.
   
   
3. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.
   
   
4. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
   
   
5. Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
   

Hope these bring a smile to your face! Keep the jokes coming and the vibes positive. Laughter's the best medicine, after all.

 

Do you have any funny ones... ?

 

Only two days to go before you’re back in school.