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Joke Thread

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by bantam65, Aug 30, 2018.

  1. Bronco

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  2. Hugh Jarse

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  3. Hugh Jarse

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  4. Hugh Jarse

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  5. Hugh Jarse

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  6. bailiff bridge bantam

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  7. bailiff bridge bantam

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  8. Park bantam

    Park bantam Regular Starter

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    61A95ABE-6ABD-4A71-821B-6A8105F2ABE3.jpeg
     
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    trevor likes this.
  9. River_City_Bantam

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    What do you call 500 penguins in Trafalgar Square?

    Lost.

    Who is a penguin's favourite relative?

    Aunt Arctica.

    * * *

    Isn't it nice to know that, in this changing world, the jokes on the Penguin wrappers remain consistent!

    RCB
     
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  10. bailiff bridge bantam

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    This is not a joke as such but it really made me laugh.
    This is 10 minutes after Solksjaer was sacked.
    I like a bet but these odds are ridiculous.

    808ED570-978B-40DD-A72C-3E7F5A58D9F7.png
     
  11. bailiff bridge bantam

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  12. Tony Wilkinson

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    Mary had a little skirt

    That was split right up the sides

    And everywhere that Mary went

    The boys could see her thighs.

    Mary had another skirt

    That was split right up the front.

    She never wore that one
     
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  13. Bronco

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  14. River_City_Bantam

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    Two types of folk, old- and country-, always win in jokes...

    One time I got sick and landed in hospital.There was this one young nurse that just drove me crazy. Every time she came in, she would talk to me like I was a little child. She would say in a patronising tone of voice, “And how are we doing this morning?” or “Are we ready for a bath?” or “Are we hungry?”
    I had had enough of this particular nurse. One day at breakfast, I took the apple juice off the tray and put it in my bedside cabinet. Later I was given a urine sample bottle to fill for testing. So you know where the juice went!
    The nurse came in a while later, picked up the urine sample bottle, looked at it and said, “My, my, it seems we are a little cloudy today.”
    At this, I snatched the bottle out of her hand and gulped it down, saying, “Well, I'll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time!”
    The nurse fainted... I just smiled.

    DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE!

    RCB
     
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  15. bailiff bridge bantam

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  16. bailiff bridge bantam

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  17. bailiff bridge bantam

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  18. Bronco

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  19. Bronco

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  20. Dennis

    Staff Member Moderator Supporter

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    Interviewer: Prime Minister, what's your favourite lie?

    Prime Minister: I don't tell lies!!

    Interviewer: Yes, that's my favourite too.
     
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