Joke Thread

What do you call 500 penguins in Trafalgar Square?

Lost.

Who is a penguin's favourite relative?

Aunt Arctica.

* * *

Isn't it nice to know that, in this changing world, the jokes on the Penguin wrappers remain consistent!

RCB

 

This is not a joke as such but it really made me laugh.
This is 10 minutes after Solksjaer was sacked.
I like a bet but these odds are ridiculous.

 

Mary had a little skirt

That was split right up the sides

And everywhere that Mary went

The boys could see her thighs.

Mary had another skirt

That was split right up the front.

She never wore that one

 

Two types of folk, old- and country-, always win in jokes...

One time I got sick and landed in hospital.There was this one young nurse that just drove me crazy. Every time she came in, she would talk to me like I was a little child. She would say in a patronising tone of voice, “And how are we doing this morning?” or “Are we ready for a bath?” or “Are we hungry?”
I had had enough of this particular nurse. One day at breakfast, I took the apple juice off the tray and put it in my bedside cabinet. Later I was given a urine sample bottle to fill for testing. So you know where the juice went!
The nurse came in a while later, picked up the urine sample bottle, looked at it and said, “My, my, it seems we are a little cloudy today.”
At this, I snatched the bottle out of her hand and gulped it down, saying, “Well, I'll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time!”
The nurse fainted... I just smiled.

DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE!

RCB

 

https://fb.watch/9NDUhJpdYb/