Joke Thread

You'll be sorry

 

Eileen and her husband Doug went for counseling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage. Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking Eileen to stand, embraced her and began kissed her passionately as her husband Doug watched with a raised eyebrow! Eileen shut up, and quietly sat down while basking in the glow of what had just transpired. The therapist turned to Doug and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week... Can you do this?"
Doug thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I play golf."

 

RCB

 

Very good....once I'd googled

 

RCB

 

Latest live scenes from HS2 construction site to Manchester:

 

A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack! "Help me dear," she groans to her husband. The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for minute, picks up his putter and lines up his putt. His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. "I'm dying here and you're putting?" "Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you." "Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" she asks feebly. "No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through."