Can / DARE you admit to looking a Tw4t ?

When they were filming the crowd scenes for the film ID at VP some years ago....
They were filming a particular scene at half time where one of the characters was being escorted down the touch line near the dug out by the "police". All of a sudden, he broke amf and started running and gesturing. At the top of my voice in a quite subdued Kop I shouted "Get hold of him and break his fecking legs ".
A bloke behind me tapped me on the shoulder and explained the fact that they were filming....
Where's a big hole when you need to crawl into it?

 

I danced 'the floss' in a shoe shop a few months ago when my daughter refused to leave without a pair of shoes. She left immediately.

Don't think she has quite recovered from that.

 

I once ran through a field of wheat.

 

You obviously weren't getting paid for a talking part, if I remember the movie every other word was F*****g this or F*****g that.

 

She's a woman, women have very long memories she will get you back, believe me.

 

Bloody autocorrect corrected my profanity.

 

Nowt on telly

 

I forgot to pack my suit for my wedding. What a dickhead.