Most liked posts in thread: Allan Gilliver - Dementia & Us Programme BBC2

I saw the programme advertised, but having lost my mother to this terrible illness, I always avoid these sort of things.
I know only too well how emotionally draining they are.
I just cannot watch.

 

Same as my old man who passed away in January.
Really felt for my mum and the partners of people with this horrible disease.
My mum said the worst thing was the frustration of my dad asking the same things over and over again because he didn’t realise he’d asked it before.My mum and dad had been married 64 years and it was horrible to see him get gradually worse and become a shell of the man I knew.It was almost a relief for my mum at the end.
It truly is a horrendous disease but hopefully modern science can make an inroad in to a cure.

 

I totally understand mate I am in a similar position

 

This may sound cruel or even uncaring but there is a strong case for a facility like Digitas in this country where those in pain etc and who choose it can end life with their family with dignity

 

Mum passed a year last February she's in a better place, when we went to visit her she'd say I want to die, she never met her mother as she died giving birth to mum, then she'd say I wonder if my mother will recognise me, heart-wrenching stuff mate, for the last 3/4 years she wasn't the mother we knew, just an empty vessel yet she wasn't aware.

 

It is so tough.

Mother-in-law is really struggling now. She's still at home, but it is becoming increasingly difficult. My girlfriend and her sister are doing a huge amount. We do have carers as well, but the cost is insane.

Sadly, I'm not travelling to see City at the moment as Saturday is the one day I can have with my girlfriend and my daughter without having to care for Grandma.

It is only when you experience it, that you can really understand what dementia is, and frankly how poor the support for it is.

 

Mum is now in a nursing home in the final stages of vascular dementia. We have had to sell her home to pay for the care fees.
Her quality of life for the last 3 years has been poor and is now non existent. She is confined to bed, cannot talk or swallow properly and so on.
I am making the long drive south to see her tomorrow. I think she still recognises me but not always sure. Taking some old photos to show her.
It is a terrible thing to say but the end cannot come soon enough, she has suffered so much.
I don't think I am able to watch the programme.

 

The most important thing is memories.
You said this on the countdown thread when my old man died in January and you are 100% right.
I remember hugging him at Molineux in 1999 and Wembley in 2013 after the play off final.
I’ll never forget those moments.

 

My father sadly passed with Vascular Dementia nearly 5 years after diagnosis ( he and my mother who had Alzheimer's) were both in the same care home had to give up their home unfortunately
He thought I was his father so didn't put him right he had no idea what he had had for his latest meal etc etc
However for some reason he always knew when City were playing on a Saturday
Every Sunday morning his opening gambit was how did city get on who did they play etc
The day before we had played Rochdale I told him the score and he said do you remember 1949 I think (I wasn't even born then) it was a foggy day we went to Rochdale and won 2-0 he then told me the names of the scorers I wrote them down and checked later he was bang on !!!
Absolutely fascinating to listen to his tales going back 60 odd years described as if it were yesterday and in such detail it gives you great insight into how he was as a much younger man
Dementia is a cruel cruel disease spend lots of time with him the memories will last with you for years

 

Brought a tear to my eye reading that. Hope you find some peace soon.

 

Know how you feel @Jayteebee I lost both my parents to it
A very cruel relentless disease that only gets worse
I will watch the programme on catch up as Gilliver and Ingram were one of my favourite striker partnerships
I also studied dementia to try and understand better what was going on its fascinating if you ever get the time or inclination to do so
Thoughts with Alan Gilliver and Family

 

Thoughts with you both. Going through the same with my mother-in-law at the moment. Just awful.

 

Some of those footballers in yesterday's game were a disgrace, clearly faking being badly hurt when there was little to no contact.

 

Unfortunately, I’m another one to add to this thread, dad’s got vascular dementia. Not watched it yet, but think I will.

 

So sad, I down loaded onto a tablet some of her pictures from yesteryear and music of the 40s50s etc, what upset me most was when I showed her the pictures with a little coaxing she eventually got the names but never recognised my dad, although he passed at 52 years of age and mum lived to be 99 years old, just two months short of getting her card from the Queen.

 

Thanks for your post I was not aware of the programe, as you say Alan was Mr Bradford City during his time at Valley Parade could always spare a few minutes to talk football, as you say was a decent cricketer as was John Hall who played in the same team as Gilly in the early 70s.

 

As you say Broncs. Watched part one on Tuesday, complete tear jerker! By coincidence the T&A run a series of teams of the past and on Tuesday it was Brighouse where Gilly was Steward, grounds man and great batter. The teams featured included Gilly, Bobby Ham as captain, Bernard Ellison who was involved as physio and Youth team as I recall. Think John Hall played elsewhere in Bradford League but memory is going a bit.

 

Yes Gilly was very involved in local cricket, not just with Manningham Mills. There were some team photos of Brighouse CC in the T&A the other night with Gilly featuring along with Bobby Ham, Bernard Ellison and Bryan Edwards. Any ex players (or umpires still living) would tell you that Alan Gilliver was a very "competitive" cricketer.

 

I personally dont think football will go down the "no heading" road as it's very different nowadays,the balls are like balloons not the heavy leather ones with the thick laces