Allan Gilliver - Dementia & Us Programme BBC2

All sports now are reevaluating their 'risk assessments' due to what is now known about brain trauma. Both codes of Rugby and the NFL, sports which I follow, have been proactive in outlawing practices that lead to constant concussions. Football will have to change its thinking regarding heading, probably from a training set up point of view. Because every time you head a cross or a goal kick it's quite literally like taking a punch, no matter what ball you use.

 

Same as us @Hulmebantam with our mum, it's when you read a thread like this you realise how many families have someone in their family with this terrible condition.

 

You see a game like yesterdays Catalan vs St Helens and watch some of the hits and wonder how many can carry on after their late 20s tough tough men they go down when their hurt unlike our present day footballers.

 

Some of those footballers in yesterday's game were a disgrace, clearly faking being badly hurt when there was little to no contact.

 

James Roby has played 17 seasons and over 500 games. Theres tough and then there's next level tough.

 

James Roby has played 17 seasons and over 500 games. Theres tough and then there's next level tough.

 

Ethan is on his way over to Fev to watch the game on TV in the pub, I think Tolouse will have too much for them, at least he can drown his sorrows .

 

Sorry @Bronco.

Indeed, it is an exceptionally difficult thing to cope with. Thoughts with you and your family.

 

Same as my old man who passed away in January.
Really felt for my mum and the partners of people with this horrible disease.
My mum said the worst thing was the frustration of my dad asking the same things over and over again because he didn’t realise he’d asked it before.My mum and dad had been married 64 years and it was horrible to see him get gradually worse and become a shell of the man I knew.It was almost a relief for my mum at the end.
It truly is a horrendous disease but hopefully modern science can make an inroad in to a cure.

 

Unfortunately, I’m another one to add to this thread, dad’s got vascular dementia. Not watched it yet, but think I will.

 

My father sadly passed with Vascular Dementia nearly 5 years after diagnosis ( he and my mother who had Alzheimer's) were both in the same care home had to give up their home unfortunately
He thought I was his father so didn't put him right he had no idea what he had had for his latest meal etc etc
However for some reason he always knew when City were playing on a Saturday
Every Sunday morning his opening gambit was how did city get on who did they play etc
The day before we had played Rochdale I told him the score and he said do you remember 1949 I think (I wasn't even born then) it was a foggy day we went to Rochdale and won 2-0 he then told me the names of the scorers I wrote them down and checked later he was bang on !!!
Absolutely fascinating to listen to his tales going back 60 odd years described as if it were yesterday and in such detail it gives you great insight into how he was as a much younger man
Dementia is a cruel cruel disease spend lots of time with him the memories will last with you for years

 

Mum passed a year last February she's in a better place, when we went to visit her she'd say I want to die, she never met her mother as she died giving birth to mum, then she'd say I wonder if my mother will recognise me, heart-wrenching stuff mate, for the last 3/4 years she wasn't the mother we knew, just an empty vessel yet she wasn't aware.

 

It is so tough.

Mother-in-law is really struggling now. She's still at home, but it is becoming increasingly difficult. My girlfriend and her sister are doing a huge amount. We do have carers as well, but the cost is insane.

Sadly, I'm not travelling to see City at the moment as Saturday is the one day I can have with my girlfriend and my daughter without having to care for Grandma.

It is only when you experience it, that you can really understand what dementia is, and frankly how poor the support for it is.

 

Mum is now in a nursing home in the final stages of vascular dementia. We have had to sell her home to pay for the care fees.
Her quality of life for the last 3 years has been poor and is now non existent. She is confined to bed, cannot talk or swallow properly and so on.
I am making the long drive south to see her tomorrow. I think she still recognises me but not always sure. Taking some old photos to show her.
It is a terrible thing to say but the end cannot come soon enough, she has suffered so much.
I don't think I am able to watch the programme.

 

So sad, I down loaded onto a tablet some of her pictures from yesteryear and music of the 40s50s etc, what upset me most was when I showed her the pictures with a little coaxing she eventually got the names but never recognised my dad, although he passed at 52 years of age and mum lived to be 99 years old, just two months short of getting her card from the Queen.

 

This may sound cruel or even uncaring but there is a strong case for a facility like Digitas in this country where those in pain etc and who choose it can end life with their family with dignity

 

The most important thing is memories.
You said this on the countdown thread when my old man died in January and you are 100% right.
I remember hugging him at Molineux in 1999 and Wembley in 2013 after the play off final.
I’ll never forget those moments.

 

Really feel for you.

 

Brought a tear to my eye reading that. Hope you find some peace soon.

 

A truly horrible disease, one that I'm certainly scared of.

My question is simply, why does this disease seem so rife? What has changed, so much?

As for the tragic stories detailed above, my heart goes out to each of your families.