Joke Thread

My granddaughter did that at school when she was 6 ish. Asked the teacher if f#ck was a French word because every time I said it I said pardon my French
That was an awkward school run pick up

 

Andy Burnham visited one of the poorest towns in the North of England yesterday and asked the local mayor what the three priorities were for revitalising the area.
“The first is the hospital,” he said. “It’s there, but there just aren’t enough doctors and nurses to fully staff it.”
Burnham pulls out his mobile phone, talks for a couple of minutes, and then announces:
“Done. When I’m Prime Minister, a team of doctors and nurses will arrive by the end of the month.”
“The second is the potholes. They’re everywhere.”
He picks up the phone again, says a few more words, and then declares:
“Done. When I’m PM, they’ll all be filled within a month.”
“And the third?” he asks.
“The third is mobile phones,” the mayor replies.
“There’s just no signal, and nothing works around here.”