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Joke Thread

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by bantam65, Aug 30, 2018.

  1. Bronco

    Bronco Star Player
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  2. River_City_Bantam

    River_City_Bantam Squad Player
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    Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures?

    Your last name stays put.
    The garage is all yours.
    Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    Chocolate is just another snack.
    You can never be pregnant.
    Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    The world is your urinal.
    You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky.
    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    Wrinkles add character.
    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
    You can open all your own jars.
    If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
    You almost never have strap problems in public.
    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
    Everything on your face stays its original colour.
    The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
    You only have to shave your face and neck.
    You can play with toys all your life.
    One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.
    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
    You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

    RCB
     
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  3. Tony Wilkinson

    Tony Wilkinson Squad Player
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    128078825_10208303170053003_38542507065286643_n.jpg
     
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    Bronco likes this.
  4. Bronco

    Bronco Star Player
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  5. Bronco

    Bronco Star Player
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  6. River_City_Bantam

    River_City_Bantam Squad Player
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    [​IMG]
     
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  7. Tony Wilkinson

    Tony Wilkinson Squad Player
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    Hung Chow calls into work and says, “Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.”
    The boss says, “You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her I want sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.”
    Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. “I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon… You got nice house.”
     
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    trevor and Bronco like this.
  8. Hugh Jarse

    Hugh Jarse Squad Player
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    A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and, one night, he's doing a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.

    Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype Swedish blond women that way? What does the colour of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like you that make others think that all Blondes are dumb! You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general pathetically all in the name of humour!"

    The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells:

    "You stay out of this! I'm talking to that little s**t on your knee."
     
    Craven Koppite and Bronco like this.
  9. Bronco

    Bronco Star Player
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  10. ahar964

    ahar964 Squad Player
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  11. Bronco

    Bronco Star Player
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  12. Park bantam

    Park bantam Regular Starter
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    26805024-CA84-445A-9890-A7D755AFC515.jpeg
     
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  13. Keefly Bantam

    Keefly Bantam Important Player
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    How did Leeds United get home from Manchester yesterday-The M6-2
     
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  14. Hugh Jarse

    Hugh Jarse Squad Player
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  15. Hugh Jarse

    Hugh Jarse Squad Player
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  16. River_City_Bantam

    River_City_Bantam Squad Player
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    [​IMG]

    RCB
     
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  17. Hugh Jarse

    Hugh Jarse Squad Player
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  18. Hugh Jarse

    Hugh Jarse Squad Player
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  19. bantam65

    bantam65 Important Player
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  20. bantam316

    bantam316 Fringe Player
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    Just read this on BBC :

    Amateur team sports are not allowed

    If this is true then Citys season is pretty much over right ?
     
    charles clifford likes this.

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