Joke Thread

The doctor prescribed me some anti-gloating cream.

I couldn't wait to rub it in!

 

A man was sitting in the bar at Heathrow and noticed a really beautiful woman sitting next to him.
He thought to himself. "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be an air hostess. I wonder which airline she works for?"
Hoping to find out, he leaned towards her and uttered the Delta Airline slogan. "Love to fly and it shows?"
She gave him a blank, confused stare and he thought to himself. "Well, she obviously doesn't work for Delta."
A moment later, another slogan popped into his head. So he leaned towards her again and said, "Something special in the air?"
She gave him the same confused look He mentally scratched Singapore Airlines off his list.
He thought "Perhaps she works for Thai Airways ..." and said "Smooth as silk?"
This time, the woman turned on him and said, "What the feck do you want?"
The man smiled, sat back in his chair and said "Ahhhhh, Ryanair!"